Twelve Signs You Are A Good Parent©
You are a good parent if:
- You are teaching your kid about money: how to earn it, save it, invest it and spend it wisely.
- You read to your kid or with your kid and set a good example for them when it comes to being seen reading a book.
- Your kid sometimes hates you for not letting them do all the things they want to do. That is proof you are doing something right!
- You allow your child to fail and feel the pain and consequences of their decisions.
- You don’t allow electronics at the dinner table; both theirs AND yours.
- You feed your kid healthy meals and make sure they get enough exercise to be fit. And you set a good example by eating healthy and exercising yourself.
- You know your kids close friends and know their parents. Remember; people become like those they associate with.
- You limit the amount of time they spend in front of the television, playing video games, and playing on the computer.
- You hug your kids even after they think they are too old for it.
- You make it clear that your love is unconditional but your approval is based on their behavior.
- You listen to them, their ideas, thoughts and opinions and then you do the right thing based on what is best for them whether they like it or not. Remember: Parenting is not a democracy, it is an absolute monarchy and you are in charge. Decisions regarding their welfare and what is right and wrong for them are not up for a vote.
- You communicate what you expect, show them how to deliver it and then impose consequences when you don’t get it and a reward when you do.
Is this all it takes to be a good parent? No, these are not the only signs you are a good parent. It takes a lot more than this to be a good parent. This is a short list.
If you don’t do all of these, does that make you a bad parent? Only you can answer that one. Look at the results, both short term and long term and decide if you need to make some corrections in your parenting approach.
The goal of any parent should be independence. You should want your child to become completely independent of you and a fully functioning, responsible, productive adult. This list is a good checklist to know if you are on the right track; but there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still goes wrong. Doing these things will only stack the deck in your favor.
I know some of you will want to argue some of these points and want me to discuss them and defend them and many of you will try to prove me wrong and litter the comments section with “Yeah buts”. Don’t bother. These points are not up for argument. I’ve been there, done it, and can prove every single one of these points in my own life, with my own kids and with tons of affirmations from other parents. If you don’t agree with these, that is fine with me, you have every right to be wrong. I say many things that can be argued with, but not this stuff.
For more of my parenting advice, so you raise a responsible, productive adult, read my best-selling book “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault.” You can get a signed copy on my website at www.larrywinget.com
Agreed!
Your kids are your own fault was the first book of yours that I read. I loved it. This list is spot on. I am not always 100% with following it, but it should be given to all new parents when they leave the hospital with their bundle of joy.
Hey Larry – did you ever think of writing a kids book? Although I talk to my kids until I’m blue in the face about life, finances, responsibility, etc, I think sometimes it’s helpful to follow it up with more info, that is NOT coming from me. A sort of “back up” to what I’m saying. I think your style of writing would hit home to them, without dumbing it down too much.
Great post, Larry. Every once in a while, my daughter will tell me that I’m “ruining her life”, and stomp up the stairs. My young son growls at me occasionally too.
Like you said, that’s when I know I’m doing my job of parent effectively. And they still get the hugs afterward…
Great post. We try to abide by so many of these things and all the other things too to make your kid come out right. I would also love to see a kids book from you. I think kids would get a lot from it..
You are 100% RIGHT ON! While your list is spot on – and I will admit I do all of these things with my son, and can say he is truly a GREAT kid, you part to parents in the last paragraph asking them to try and prove you wrong is even better! Too many parents have the “yeah, but” attitude. Wake up parents and take responsibility! Your kids ARE your own fault!
This is exactly how I’m raising my kids.by the way I’m a mother of 4 boys.I talk a lot with my kids and explain to them with plenty of details about why they should sleep early eat healthy shower properly,study deeply be organized etc and so on I have an endless list.but as we all know we are not their only world ,they have friends neighbors school mates ….that are spoiled like it’s ok at age 10 to stay up till midnite or even later on the net chatting or video games it’s ok to have fast food evey other day it’s ok if u don’t do homework(it’s not the end of the world) it’s ok to have a mobile phone at age 4 and take it to school (come on why a 4yrs old need a mobile at school for the stock market??) it’s crazy!!!!
Really I think it a time to write books for kids to tell them the truth about how they should be raised.I really feel for those kids!! And I sometimes think about my kids if they question themselves if they are ok or aliens in the world.I have a list of things to tell like why a kid needs 10 pairs of shoes different colors or brand names when their foot size wont stay the same for six months!!!
I’ve been trying to find a way to put #10 into words for years:
‘You make it clear that your love is unconditional but your approval is based on their behavior.’ Perfect.
I second the kids book, but the thing with kids, especially younger ones is that it would have to be a series. One thing at a time. I still think the kids books I grew up on in the 60-70′s were the best. Keeping a kid interested is one thing, but ‘morals’ seem to have taken a back seat to ‘entertainment value.’
Do you really think anyone would argue this post Larry? I hope the world hasn’t gone that far astray…
Read this aloud to my 28 year old, best compliment was, Yep that was you Mom! I have three terrific daughters I’m very proud of and though I didn’t have the benefit of Larry’s books bringing them up I’m happy to say my kids are my fault! I’ve bought 6 copies of this book to give away (so far) and every time the parents (or future parents) have told me really learned from it.
Thanks Larry.
My oldest daughter has just turned 13 and I’m scoring very highly on point number 3 above…
However, shared times and hugs are common occurrencesin our relationship.
This is exactly how I’m raising my kids.by the way I’m a mother of 4 boys.I talk a lot with my kids and explain to them with plenty of details about why they should sleep early eat healthy shower properly,study deeply be organized etc and so on I have an endless list.but as we all know we are not their only world ,they have friends neighbors school mates ….that are spoiled like it’s ok at age 10 to stay up till midnite or even later on the net chatting or video games it’s ok to have fast food evey other day it’s ok if u don’t do homework(it’s not the end of the world) it’s ok to have a mobile phone at age 4 and take it to school (come on why a 4yrs old need a mobile at school for the stock market??) it’s crazy!!!!
Really I think its a time to write books for kids to tell them the truth about how they should be raised.I really feel sorry for those kids!! They have no clue about how badly they are being treated by their parents and how their parents are satisfying their own lack in their kids.And I sometimes think about my kids if they question themselves if they are ok or aliens in this world.I have a list of things to tell like why a kid needs 10 pairs of shoes different colors or brand names when their foot size wont stay the same for six months!!!
Well Mr. Winget, You have summed things up that have been done in this family for the last 28 years ( age of oldest ) except where I have blown no.6 out of the water occasionally and have hurt my own health at times but now the boys are on my case about my weight ( payback is a bitch ), But they have made me proud in there respect for others and themselves, there percerverience ( taught them an old japanese saying ” Fall down seven get up eight “.) and more than likely they can spell better than I,Yes they have disapointed us at times but what child has not, So thank you for those points and keep up the good proding and pokeing of people to make them do there best.
i totally agree with peacehave postings, so funny and straight to the point.
KUDDOS …..Mr Winget you`ve said it all.
I think you are pretty spot on with that list.
I’d like to send it to my ex-husband as a “subtle” reminder.
Thank you Larry!
I shared this link on FB this morning with a grin as it all the things my kids hear me say on a regular basis and roll their eyes at. Particularly the fact that I refuse to pay them pocket money for keeping their rooms clean because some things in life just have to be done without reward – that’s just how life is!
I just had a “discussion” about what is appropriate viewing on TV with my ten year old daughter who was most disgusted that I MADE her change the channel. So I muted the TV and sat both the kids down and read them your list. It was VERY effective as it was started with the comment from me “I didn’t write this therefore you know it’s not just me repeating myself for a change”. Words always have more effect when they do not come from Mum and Dad – that’s why they listen more when someone else tells them off!! My eight year old was looking over my shoulder and said “That’s the guy that wrote book about not whinging isn’t it?”
I think reading them these words had a rather profound effect on them (they are only 8 and 10) and I often say to them “Yes I know you think I’m the meanest Mum in the world right now – in a few years, you’ll change your mind.” It was really nice for me to be able to read them this list and say “You see… you may not like it but I am actually doing you a favour, even if you don’t like it!”
I don’t think you need to write a children’s book – I think parents should just read their kids the columns and blogs you write. Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for, so why dumb down something that’s so simply to begin with? I’m Mum, my house, my rules!!!
Thanks Larry
Ouch! On #5
Good one.
Also, you must show them the way of the Lord.
Thanks.
As usual, you are a genius! I have so much respect for your brutal honesty.